It has been revealed that Anna Ford, respected journalist and chancellor of Manchester University has been implicated in a plot to take over the world.
Through grown up reporting by Manchester After Dark, we can sensationally reveal that Ford, 62, has been secretly plotting to rule over the planet.
Using the latest in surveillance technology and by sneaking around the bursary office in the dark, we have sensationally uncovered a conspiracy suggesting that Ford is responsible for diverging research funding into the construction of her very own evil genius lair.
Indeed, documents stolen from the office, point to serious foul play in the allocation of funds intended for Project Unity.
Whilst we do not suspect any malpractice in the purchase of ‘a pencil – 23p’ or ‘a whiteboard marker – 50p’, the budgeting costs required for ‘Anna Ford’s secret base to take over the world – £39 billion’ did raise a few eyebrows

Rumours of Ford’s scheme for rule under one broadcasting corporation have been rife ever since someone spotted a giant robot being built behind the University campus. (Right)
Indeed, the student community have speculated that the demolition of the maths tower, whilst under the pretence of making way for a brand new student centre, may well be the site for a type of uber laser.
Anna Ford’s uber laser of death and destruction ™, if you will.

In our attempt to secure an official response on these allegations of world domination, the University of Manchester offered this statement.

“We at the grand high university of Ford deny all allegations of attempts at world domination.
Whilst we regret to inform that budgetary constraints have only allowed the purchase of one whiteboard marker and one pencil this year, the remainder of the budget is certainly not going into building The High Empress Ford a secret military base on which to wage war on the commercial television infidels.
And we’re certainly not breeding flying monkeys on the first floor of the Refectory.”

Whilst this would explain what happens upstairs in the Refectory outside of exam periods, our investigations have yet to divulge any information on why Anna Ford would want to become chancellor of the world.
In an attempt to work out Anna Ford’s next move in conquering the planet, we contacted some military experts for their opinion
As it happens military experts are quite expensive, so we sat down with tea and biscuits and planned it out ourselves.

General Ford's Plan of Attack

• 1. We expect General Ford to take France first.
  Because who wouldn’t in the same position.
  Though she’ll be batting away UN sanctions for months, it’ll still be pretty funny.
• 2. Ford’s giant robot division will storm through Spain crushing all who stand in their way.
  Like Ants.
  Or Spaniards.
• 3. We imagine Ford’s winged monkey division to take Scandinavia by Christmas.
• 4. We predict sporadic conflict against the Burke resistance force near Germany but see Ford’s giant magnifying glass making short work of their uprising.
• 5. As per norm we expect the American’s to get bored of their own wars and stick their noses in.
  We see them going round in circles near Greece for most of the conflict.

So there you have it children.
Best make sure all the TV licenses are paid up by the time the revolution comes.
Rest assured that Manchester After Dark, regardless of military coups, will remain the bastion of truth and impartial journalism.
We shall do our utmost to preserve the integrity and unbiased nature of the British press.
On that note we’d also like to congratulate High Chancellor Ford on her military successes and wish her a prosperous reign as ruler of the planet.