Check out our homeland security guide as to how safe you are against the dreaded work dodging.
Always remain aware of the threat of work dodging.
Remain vigilant.
Always report suspicions of work dodging to your nearest police officer.
Work dodging can happen at any time.
Like now.
Are you reading this whilst work dodging?
If you suspect you may be a work dodger please dial 999 and express your future intentions of slacking off.

	Threat of work avoidance low. Breaks from work include the occasional toilet trip and coffee break. Occasional brief chats with friends regarding work. That is all.
	General signs that work dodging may be afoot. Warnings include tidying up desk of study, looking out of the window for extended periods and listening to music. Toilet and coffee breaks are longer and more frequent. Both may or may not include a newspaper or magazine. Increase the warning level if you go buy a paper specifically for these breaks. Increase the warning status by two if the paper you are reading for these breaks is over three months old.
	Work dodging significant. Tidying up extended to incorporate room. Coffee breaks now include lunch and a brief television session. Having a shave seems like a good idea and something you should have got around to a long time ago.
	Ironing and washing up completed. Housework extended to hovering and polishing. Frequent trips to Starbucks just because ‘it’s easier to work there’. Phoning your parents seems like a good idea and something you should have got around to a long time ago.
	Housemates washing and ironing completed. Television sessions extend to watching ‘Murder She Wrote’ and some lame excuse about it having good narrative structure. A nap seems like the best idea ever and something you should have got around to a long time ago. Lazy bastard.