The bus was stuck in traffic.
Your hair was still wet.
A series of unfortunate events meant you had to find new underwear.
Whatever the reason, you’re late for a lecture. Alas, this isn’t the usual five minutes late. This is a good seven minutes.
Your fate is unfolding before you.
Walking into a lecture, hot, sweaty and far from looking your sexiest.
A sarcastic comment from a lecturer.
Muffled giggles from a room of students more than happy to stare at you until you’ve found a seat.
It’s enough to make you very upset and write to Cosmopolitan’s agony aunt.

However there are ways to avoid this embarrassing situation.
Years of SAS and Navy Seal espionage training have taught us the best in sneak sneak tactics. We’ve learnt how to become one with the scenery. We’ve learnt to avoid patrolling guards. We’ve learnt how to be undetectable in the most pressured situation. Naturally, we abused these powers for all their worth and immediately set about sneaking into the swimming pool changing rooms.
We learnt that we were bad people.

And now we pass these talents onto you.
Because we care about you little chickens, we’ve devised the best ways to sneak into a crowded lecture hall.
From years of exhaustive training and meditation on a hill in the Pennines we’ve perfected the best ways to covertly infiltrate a lecture hall.
We’ve learnt how to get to a seat undetected by staff and students
We’ve learnt how to look composed under pressure without the help of Sure deodorant. We’ve learnt that you should pack a jumper when you go to the Pennines.

	If years of playing computer games have taught us anything it’s that putting a large cardboard box over your body and moving slowly past people is the pinnacle of espionage action. Enter the lecture hall inside the box and slowly move towards your preferred seat. Stealthy.
Throw a smoke grenade into the room for a handy diversion. In the ensuing panic and smoke, slip into the lecture hall and take a seat. Ensure that when the smoke clears you make a suitably confused and alarmed expression giving the effect that you have been in the lecture since the start. Ensure you purchase a smoke grenade and not one that kills people to avoid embarrassment.
	Throw Jim Davidson into the room for a handy diversion. In the ensuing panic slip into the lecture hall and take a seat. Ensure that when Jim is booed out of the room you make a suitably confused and alarmed expression giving the effect that you have been in the lecture since the start. Ensure you purchase Jim Davidson and not Jasper Carrot to avoid embarrassment.
Run into the lecture hall looking breathless and alarmed. Point to the other side of the lecture hall and shout a pre chosen line of choice. Manchester After Dark enjoys a selection from ‘Oh my God there’s a bear’, ‘Oh my God there’s a lion’, or ‘Oh my God it’s Jimmy Saville’. While everyone looks to the other side of the room for a bear, lion or Jimmy Saville, quickly run to a seat and sit down. Most people won’t remember what you look like and so you’ll get into the lecture without any unnecessary embarrassment.
	Slip into the projection room and put in a pre recorded video tape of This Morning or Richard and Judy. Students can’t resist daytime television and having been provided with a taste of what they are missing, will flock to the exits in order to go home and satisfy their cravings. Following this, you can either slip into the lecture hall during the exodus or go home to watch television with them.